14 January 2019
As much as I love to promote positivity and encourage you to Dream Big, I can’t ignore the other side of that coin. The ups are impossible without the downs and you cannot build resilience and perseverance if you are not tested. At any given moment, you are doing your best. Even when you think you are not. It is impossible to not do your best. Whatever is impeding your growth is building up your strength to do just that...grow. If you are lying flat on your face in bed and you feel hopeless...you are doing your best! We have resources within us that we can tap but they are not limitless. If you have exhausted your strength, your courage, your stamina etc. then you have done your best. The answer is not to push through that despair. The answer is to refill your resources. You cannot give what you do not have.
Of course, in our industry, we very much promote self-care (which I addressed in last week’s blog post) which is one of the ways you can refill your resources. It can start small though. Today, you can say, “I will drink 70 ounces of water today!”. That can be the beginning of your replenishment. Tomorrow you can call your sister or your friend and be vulnerable. Tell them exactly how you feel and let their love wash over you. The following day, open all the mail you’ve been ignoring. Don’t focus on the outcome, just focus on what you can realistically replenish today. It will accumulate faster than you think!
When you are at a point when you feel like you deserve some pampering...we will be here! We are happy to help you fill up those resources to the tippity top! I will often suggest to clients that they come to their appointment early to unwind. It makes such a big difference. Just picture it...you check in and we hang your coat...you pour yourself a hot mug of tea or coffee...you chat with the other women in the waiting room...you read an article or two and then your practitioner calls you in and treats you like a queen! It’s a worthwhile venture to dedicate time and energy to the refilling of your resources but when they do run out (because we are not perfect so they will) you need to remember that you are doing your best...ALWAYS!
Wishing You a Week of Replenishment!
11 January 2019
Operating from a place of fear is so common for me that I confuse it with rational decision making. There was a time in my life when fear was necessary and I needed it to keep me safe. I have absolutely no need for it any longer (unless I’m in a parking garage at night) but, nonetheless, it’s my go-to emotion. Having the courage to make decisions based on your core values as opposed to your fear can (and will) change the trajectory of your life. The hard part is coming to terms with the fact that your core values will not always align with the values of the people and world around you. I’m here to tell you that that’s okay.
For instance, I like to get myself “dolled up”. Sometimes everyday or, if I’m feeling off, once a week or even less. I used to have a real fear that I would be judged as being vain so I would make self effacing jokes about it or avoid the topic altogether. Vanity was seen as a very negative quality in my family so I lived with the fear of being seen that way. The truth about my beauty routine is that it is something that makes me feel balanced and happy. I enjoy the whole process of getting myself ready, from my shower to putting my coat on and walking out the door feeling confident. The meditative quality of that methodical process happens to be good for me. Not everyone feels that way nor do they need to. I do know that if you see me back-sliding on that routine, there is a good chance I’m not feeling great (emotionally or otherwise). The fallout, for me, when I’m feeling imbalanced is that I stop taking care of myself.
Being brave enough to say “This is who I am!” allows people to love you and accept you the way you are. It also allows them to be there for you when they can see that you are not aligned with your true self. The beauty industry can be very triggering for women. Believe me, I get it...big time! I absolutely stand with women in every way! What I do not agree with is a cookie cutter mold of what it looks like to be a happy and successful woman. Dream Spa Medical seeks to dispel the myth that self-care equals vanity.
Your homework this week is to write down 2 things that you could add to your self-care routine everyday that you believe would intensify your satisfaction with your life. The catch is...you can’t just write it down and then let fear take over and stuff it into a drawer with the hope you’ll pull it out someday. I know how you feel. You are scared to tell your family that you insist on spending an additional 15 or 30 minutes a day taking care of just you. Boy, that IS selfish isn’t it? No, it is not! That is your fear talking. Your family may be taken aback. Your children will certainly need some time to adjust to not being allowed in the bathroom when you’re in there LOL. The result, however, will be that, once the people around you see you becoming happier with each passing day, they will support your self-care. Stand behind your decision that it is important to you and it keeps you balanced and it is NOT optional!
Wishing You a Week of Phenomenal Self-Care!
2 January 2019
I’ve spoken, over and over again, about the importance of close relationships in your life. Your family (immediate and extended), your friends, your coworkers etc. which are healthy attachments as long as it is love (and not codependency) that fuel the relationship. Today, however, I’d like to lift the veil on healthy DE-tachment.
Detachment, as a word, can evoke negative and confusing feelings in people. That is understandable if, for example, you had a very detached father (like myself) and you now long for attachment in any place you can find it. Going into this beautiful new year, I want you to look under all of those unturned stones. I want you to finally give yourself permission to detach from anything and everything that brings sadness to your life. It’s easier than you think and dropping all that dead weight will give way to forward momentum in your life in a way that may even be shocking!
The other side of the coin that we hate to talk about regarding the holidays is that, in the midst of all the happiness and magic of the holiday season, we are forced to confront almost ALL of our demons. It is important to talk about this so that we can move through 2019 with (hopefully) a little less emotional baggage. That baggage, after all, is the catalyst of almost all of our bad decisions. I totally get how easy it is to break a New Year’s resolution when you’ve had to put on a brave face for your children and you just want to let go of everything for just a moment! I am daring you to do things differently this year. I’m not asking you to make a resolution but to allow your life to be better forever. Imagine telling yourself that your happiness is the most important thing and the rest will fall into place. That just seems like downright fun!
What does that look like for me? I need to detach myself from the little girl who desperately needed her father’s attention and desperately wanted to make her mother happy. What are YOUR unhealthy attachments? I bet you just listed 3 of them pretty quickly without even having to think about it. Just start with one of those. Imagine your body draped with sand bags. Each one representing an unhealthy attachment. Now imagine how amazing it will feel to remove those, stand up and run as fast as you can into your awaiting life! Imagining it that way makes detaching from those unhealthy people, emotions etc. easier than you think.
When I started working here at Dream Spa Medical, I was forced to confront the fact that I had some judgments of my own regarding the beauty industry. As I immersed myself in this community and began to learn more and more about our clients, I realized that these are some of the most empowered and free women I’ve ever met! They have taught me so much about self-acceptance and prioritizing your own needs. As I’ve learned to adopt this philosophy myself, I can see how much happier my children are. They see me happy and, even though that means that sometimes they are with a sitter on date night, they love the new me! I know that it took me this long to get here because I was taught that being a martyr for your family is necessary and honorable but I’m happy to have broken that chain. I want you to be able to get there too. The most valuable gift you can give your family is for them to see you happy!
Wishing You a Week of Letting Go!
31 December 2018
Well, ladies, it’s that time of year! It is time to take stock of 2018 and prepare yourself to enter 2019 with a clear mind and a full heart. I am not so much interested in what you did right or wrong in 2018 but I am very interested in what you learned. Maybe it was a difficult year and you learned that you are stronger than you thought or maybe 2018 was marvelous and you learned that spending time with your friends makes you a better person. Or maybe, 2018 was completely uneventful and unmemorable and you learned that if you want a memorable year/life you need to be proactive and make great memories for yourself!
Personally, I learned that I am not my mistakes and that I am not the product of other people’s judgment or assessment of me. I also learned that (more than anything) freedom is what we all desire. Of course, I’m still working on applying all that acquired knowledge but my view of myself and the world is slowly changing. I also learned a very valuable lesson which is that happiness is not a static state. This constant search for happiness as a permanent place is just a recipe for (ironically) unhappiness. You can have a happy life and you can feel grateful for everything and everyone you have, but also have bad days, weeks or months. Suffering is inevitable (and, thankfully, it is temporary for most people) but how you respond to these moments is what will determine your overall contentment with life. The ability to let things roll off your back is a freedom like no other!
Freedom means different things to different people. Freedom can mean getting out of a relationship you feel trapped in or it can mean being in a relationship that allows you the freedom to be yourself. It can also mean not being in a relationship at all if you are the kind of person who feels happier on your own and untethered. Freedom to me is the feeling of being unencumbered by the judgement of others. As most people know, there is this strange stigma attached to elective, cosmetic treatments. That is the exact judgment from others that needs not concern you. Dream Spa Medical puts a lot of effort into, not only empowering women to do what they want, but informing them regarding skincare and all of our treatments. We don’t want you to make decisions blindly. We want you to be informed and to be able to understand our treatments so that you can choose what is best for YOU. Many of our treatments provide a level of freedom from daily upkeep that is absolutely thrilling for many of our clients! One less thing to do in the morning...I’ll take it!!! As for myself, the next frontier for me will be Laser Hair Removal and I cannot wait. Freedom from shaving everyday, freedom from buying those insanely expensive razors and freedom to go to the beach whenever I feel like it....freedom, freedom, freedom!
I would like for you to begin this new year with curiosity. Curiosity about yourself and the world around you is what will bring you joy. If each and every one of your experiences exists to teach you something about yourself, your family and your community etc., you will begin to welcome the full scope of feelings and circumstances that come your way. Each of these (good or bad) will serve a greater purpose which is to help you grow. You will be free from the fear that something “bad” will happen. We want you to open your hearts and minds and allow 2019 to be your best year yet!
Wishing You a Week of Excitement About The Coming Year!!
18 December 2018
Mirrors are certainly not a new discovery and neither is our obsession with our appearance. The mirror, however, is not always truthful. What we perceive when we observe ourselves in a mirror says a lot about where we are in our lives. Biologically, it makes sense to want to look your best. We see this play out all throughout nature. All you have to do is watch the captivating, days-long, mating displays of seahorses or the plethora of other creatures that have evolved in their beauty over the centuries in order to secure a mate. Humans, however, have an additional layer to consider. We have these very annoying over-thinking brains of ours! On the one hand, human beings are clearly a brilliant species. On the other hand, boy can we make a simple thing into a hugely insurmountable problem!
What do you see when you look in the mirror? If you are able to strip away all of the feeling from a lifetime of outside influences, what do you really see? I do not need to know you to feel certain that you are beautiful. We are all uniquely beautiful and, the moment you truly embody that, the mirror will no longer stand in judgment of you. It will be a place for reflection (inward and outward). It will be a place where you can be still with yourself and know that the only validation you need is from you. Once that happens, the entire world will see your beauty as well!
At Dream Spa Medical, we are often asked for advice or guidance on treatments. My response is always to put the question back on you. What do YOU want to do? How do YOU want to feel? That should be the driving force behind your beauty regimen. For example, I spent many hours sun-bathing and I surfed for years and, of course, having been in my 20’s, I did not wear sunblock. I had some freckles and sun spots on my face that I covered with foundation. For some people, that’s a non-issue but, for me, I wanted to “erase” my bad choice of having not worn sunblock at high noon in Mexico! Last year, I did a chemical peel (Vi Peel) which worked wonders on my pigment and I’ve received regular Hydrafacials with the occasional Laser Genesis treatment as well. I now only wear tinted sunscreen instead of foundation so, for me, that was what I wanted and it has helped me feel more confident as a result!
If you have something that drives you crazy, there is absolutely no reason to not address it. The only question you need to ask yourself is...”Is this what I want?”. If the answer is “Yes!” then go for it! If you have an issue with your skin or body, we almost certainly, have a treatment to tackle it. Not to mention that we have the best state-of-the-art lasers, equipment and amazingly skilled practitioners! We love helping women feel confident and beautiful and to watch our clients’ self-esteem grow before my eyes is one of my greatest joys working at Dream Spa Medical!
Wishing you a week of true self reflection!
13 December 2018
Sacrificing sleep has not only become completely commonplace, but is used as a barometer of strength and resilience in some circles. I’ve heard countless people brag about how little sleep they are able to operate on. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but absolutely EVERYONE needs sleep! We can see this so easily from the outside when we are observing others. For example, I carefully schedule my children’s bedtime routines so that I can ensure that they will have enough hours to replenish and restore their minds and bodies. I want them to feel calm, happy and fully prepared to tackle the following day. I know that sleep is absolutely imperative to their health. Not to mention their moods! We all know the dreaded “countdown to meltdown” when our children approach their bedtime.
At Dream Spa, we try to steer you in the direction of self-care always. One of the very first things you are likely to be advised to do by your aesthetician or nurse practitioner here is to apply sunscreen every single day! We make every attempt to guide our clients toward a happy, healthy lifestyle. We ask that you take care of your mind, body and skin from the inside and we’ll take care of the outside. This balance is what will give you the radiant beauty you desire! What is number 1 in my beauty routine? Sleep! I sometimes fall off the wagon but, when I do, I notice immediately! I look different and I feel different. I do not feel like myself. You may have been operating on a lack of sleep for so long that you don’t even realize that it is affecting you negatively in so many ways! Just try sleeping 7-10 hours a night and doubling your water intake. You will notice a difference in your appearance within weeks or maybe even days.
I do need to insert a caveat here...I am fully aware that there are many and myriad circumstances that prevent people from getting the appropriate amount of sleep. I’ve been there myself. Maybe you have a new baby at home, maybe you’re suffering with depression or maybe you stay up worrying about life. Boy do I get it...all of it! If you are able, however, to making changes in your life in order to prioritize sleep you will not regret it. Leading into this hectic holiday season, you deserve to feel at peace inside your body. You will be surprised at how productive and efficient you are with more sleep. More waking hours does not make you more productive, it just makes you cranky!
Your homework is to sleep 7-10 hours a night (every night if you can) and then book yourself a HydraGlow as your reward. Believe me, you will look and feel stunning!! At 41 years old, after prioritizing myself (as hard as that was), I look 10 times better than I did at 31 and the magic ingredient was sleep!
Wishing you a week of sweet dreams!
27 November 2018
As fun as all of those holiday shenanigans are, boy can they derail us from our weight loss goals! When I’m coaching my HCG clients, I always try to be reasonable with my expectations and take into consideration that perfection is NEVER the goal. I want you to enjoy the holidays but, also, I want you to remain steadfast in your determination to achieve your goals. This can feel like a tightrope walk for sure! Leading into the holiday season, I encourage you to think about the things that bring you true happiness at this time of the year. Most often, you’ll find, that the food and alcohol are just supporting players in a cast of friends and family who are the real stars of the show. Imagine removing some of those foods and drinks that you consume out of boredom or habit at a party and imagine how amazing you’ll feel if you just enjoy the company of the people you love! Then imagine waking up the next morning with that incomparable feeling of having overcome your impulse to depend on those unhealthy habits to sustain you in social situations.
Full disclosure here...I have been on both sides of that coin! I have an addictive personality so I have to be hyper-aware of my impulses and why I’m reaching for that 3rd drink or that 10th cookie. Even if my clients “cheat” and eat things that are outside the allowable foods on the HCG diet, I only ask that they do it with full awareness. Be present in your decision so that you can learn about yourself and what makes you tick. It is much easier to make healthier decisions if you know why you are making the unhealthy ones to begin with!
This holiday season I want you to be thankful for a body that is capable of carrying you through life. Show your thanks by treating that body with love and respect! Most importantly, when you flounder, do NOT punish yourself. Just forgive yourself and move on! Although weight loss is your goal when you see me for HCG coaching, my ultimate goal is to bring you closer to feeling peace and happiness with your body and your life. I can assure you...you deserve it...we all do!
Wishing you and your family a beautiful holiday season filled with love, and maybe just one cookie ;-)
29 August 2018
I’m socially awkward and I’m an oddball in general. Now that I’m in my 40’s, I’m definitely OK with my weirdness and the things that make me unique. I do, however, still revert to my younger self when I’m in new social situations. Over the years, I’ve coped with this feeling in a variety of unhealthy ways. One of those unhealthy coping mechanisms has been that I’ll just eat/snack/drink uncontrollably at social gatherings. I’m usually not hungry but I just need to occupy myself so I don’t feel so darn uncomfortable in my own skin. My rational self knows that, not only are people not even thinking about me, but they are probably preoccupied with their own insecurities. Nonetheless, I find this to be the one area I haven’t quite conquered yet.
I’ve found, when coaching my clients through their HCG journey, that social situations are a huge hurdle and/or road block. I will ask my client what (specifically) triggered the compulsion to eat or drink poorly in a social situation. I really want to get to the bottom of why we cannot seem to maintain our healthy eating habits when we are socializing. This, of course, opened a can of worms! I’m happy it did though because this is clearly a place where we need to analyze and figure out why we self sabotage in these situations over and over again.
The factors are many and myriad. They range from complex family dynamics to a (very common) deeply ingrained association between happiness in social settings and decadent food and alcohol. These factors, in my opinion, are all understandable and certainly valid. Initially, I wanted an answer for my clients. I wanted a tried and true formula but I was unable to come up with one that felt doable to me. I researched (also known as Googling lol) and the information felt detached and generic and very one-size-fits-all. Or, conversely, there was a lot of advice that suggested abstaining from social gatherings while on a diet or very rigid protocols that seemed unlikely to stick. Again, I was not satisfied with that answer. I want you to live normally and happily while eating healthily. Otherwise, it’s not sustainable so what’s the point. When you leave me, I want you to just carry on seamlessly and feel completely empowered to take ownership of your health and body!
After researching and thinking about how I could best help people overcome this hurdle I came up with an approach that can be used going into any and every social engagement. My approach with my clients has been to assess each social situation separately and well in advance. I will ask you if you have something coming up. We will then talk about all the possible triggers that may arise in that situation. I will help you come up with strategies to manage all of these triggers and even unforseen ones if possible. Sometimes, the answer is to say “no” to an event. If you know that an event will only bring you stress and anxiety, you are well within your right to sit it out. I found that, after really delving into each social situation separately and creating a personalized game plan each time, that the success rate of my clients shot through the roof! This is certainly something you can do on your own and, with practice, you will only get better at it. Your homework this week is to think about a situation in the near future that is giving you anxiety. There is no need to even think about the healthy eating for this drill. This is just a tool to help you start to understand yourself better. Follow these steps and see how you do.
This will be useful with the holidays around the corner and I’d love to hear all about your ups and downs. Or maybe you have some great ideas or tools of your own. Just shoot me an email to let me know what worked or didn’t work or even just to say hello :-)
15 August 2018
Personally, I feel that one of the most frustrating aspects of many programs (not just diet programs) is that the power lies within the the person or entity that is dispensing the information to you. There is always this sense that they know more than you do and so, in turn, you need them. For me, this codependency is not sustainable. It works out beautifully when you are in relationship with that person or company but what happens when you eventually need or want to detach and take ownership of your journey. As your coach, my ultimate goal is to equip you with the information you need to be able to maintain your weight and a healthy lifestyle when the day comes to end our time together. My role is to be your teacher, not your crutch!
Much of our inability to achieve our weight loss goals comes from a lack of knowledge and a lack of confidence. Throughout our time together, I will learn about you and what your personal roadblocks are. I will then gift you with the information you need in order to rebuild your self-esteem and , hopefully, your life! There are so many things you don’t think are a major roadblocks like negative self-talk, lack of sleep etc. The good news is that there is a plethora of tools at our disposal to break down these roadblocks. Your homework this week is to practice esteemable acts that build YOU up! Working on your self-esteem is one of the most valuable gifts you can give yourself!
30 July 2018
“I have to inject myself with HCG...Yikes!!” That is the general response when people discover they will be injecting themselves. To be honest, that was my response to it as well, LOL! As is the case with most new things, once you break it down and fully understand it, the fear evaporates naturally. Mostly, it’s the unknown that is scary, not the actual thing itself that you are fearing. By the time are you are home with your supplies, you have been cleared for the program by our Nurse Practitioner, you’ve been instructed on the purpose and procedure of the injections, you will have been given a tutorial on the injections and we will have approved you to be able to take your supplies home. You will be fully prepared and completely ready to implement the HCG program once you are home!
When you come in for your orientation I will take your Body Composition Analysis. At this point in the process, I’ve already had our Nurse Practitioner review your blood work and clear you to proceed with the HCG Diet. This analysis will give me comprehensive data regarding the current state of your body. It will measure everything from your weight, to your BMI, to your muscle mass and many more stats that give me a complete picture of your baseline prior to the HCG program. You will then communicate your weight loss goals and any other goals you have to me. As your coach, I like getting a complete picture of what you really want in life. The more I know about you and where you want to go, the better I am equipped to help you get there. Based on your baseline and your ultimate goal, I will recommend a treatment plan for you. I will recommend the number of weeks that you will likely need to give you the best chance of achieving your goal and also the quantity of HCG you will be injecting daily. The major benefit of injecting yourself at home is the convenience. You will need to be injecting yourself daily (usually the same time every morning) so it would be very unreasonable to expect anyone to come into to the office every single morning for an injection for 30-90 days consecutively!
Your orientation will empower you with all the necessary tools to succeed at the HCG Diet. Beyond the injections you will be instructed on your calorie allowance, the “approved” foods and the precise breakdown of the protein/vegetable/fruit ratio. I will even give you parameters for your water intake and how to proceed if you choose to exercise while doing the HCG diet. I leave no stones unturned at your orientation. The most important point that I attempt to communicate is that I want you to feel comfortable and completely in control of the process. This is your body and your life so if I am able to give you the tools you need to gain enough self esteem to feel confident that you are fully in control of your destiny, then I could not ask for a greater reward in coaching you through this process!
Wishing you a week of empowerment!