As much as I love to promote positivity and encourage you to Dream Big, I can’t ignore the other side of that coin. The ups are impossible without the downs and you cannot build resilience and perseverance if you are not tested. At any given moment, you are doing your best. Even when you think you are not. It is impossible to not do your best. Whatever is impeding your growth is building up your strength to do just that...grow. If you are lying flat on your face in bed and you feel hopeless...you are doing your best! We have resources within us that we can tap but they are not limitless. If you have exhausted your strength, your courage, your stamina etc. then you have done your best. The answer is not to push through that despair. The answer is to refill your resources. You cannot give what you do not have.
Of course, in our industry, we very much promote self-care (which I addressed in last week’s blog post) which is one of the ways you can refill your resources. It can start small though. Today, you can say, “I will drink 70 ounces of water today!”. That can be the beginning of your replenishment. Tomorrow you can call your sister or your friend and be vulnerable. Tell them exactly how you feel and let their love wash over you. The following day, open all the mail you’ve been ignoring. Don’t focus on the outcome, just focus on what you can realistically replenish today. It will accumulate faster than you think!
When you are at a point when you feel like you deserve some pampering...we will be here! We are happy to help you fill up those resources to the tippity top! I will often suggest to clients that they come to their appointment early to unwind. It makes such a big difference. Just picture it...you check in and we hang your coat...you pour yourself a hot mug of tea or coffee...you chat with the other women in the waiting room...you read an article or two and then your practitioner calls you in and treats you like a queen! It’s a worthwhile venture to dedicate time and energy to the refilling of your resources but when they do run out (because we are not perfect so they will) you need to remember that you are doing your best...ALWAYS!
Wishing You a Week of Replenishment!
Operating from a place of fear is so common for me that I confuse it with rational decision making. There was a time in my life when fear was necessary and I needed it to keep me safe. I have absolutely no need for it any longer (unless I’m in a parking garage at night) but, nonetheless, it’s my go-to emotion. Having the courage to make decisions based on your core values as opposed to your fear can (and will) change the trajectory of your life. The hard part is coming to terms with the fact that your core values will not always align with the values of the people and world around you. I’m here to tell you that that’s okay.
For instance, I like to get myself “dolled up”. Sometimes everyday or, if I’m feeling off, once a week or even less. I used to have a real fear that I would be judged as being vain so I would make self effacing jokes about it or avoid the topic altogether. Vanity was seen as a very negative quality in my family so I lived with the fear of being seen that way. The truth about my beauty routine is that it is something that makes me feel balanced and happy. I enjoy the whole process of getting myself ready, from my shower to putting my coat on and walking out the door feeling confident. The meditative quality of that methodical process happens to be good for me. Not everyone feels that way nor do they need to. I do know that if you see me back-sliding on that routine, there is a good chance I’m not feeling great (emotionally or otherwise). The fallout, for me, when I’m feeling imbalanced is that I stop taking care of myself.
Being brave enough to say “This is who I am!” allows people to love you and accept you the way you are. It also allows them to be there for you when they can see that you are not aligned with your true self. The beauty industry can be very triggering for women. Believe me, I get it...big time! I absolutely stand with women in every way! What I do not agree with is a cookie cutter mold of what it looks like to be a happy and successful woman. Dream Spa Medical seeks to dispel the myth that self-care equals vanity.
Your homework this week is to write down 2 things that you could add to your self-care routine everyday that you believe would intensify your satisfaction with your life. The catch is...you can’t just write it down and then let fear take over and stuff it into a drawer with the hope you’ll pull it out someday. I know how you feel. You are scared to tell your family that you insist on spending an additional 15 or 30 minutes a day taking care of just you. Boy, that IS selfish isn’t it? No, it is not! That is your fear talking. Your family may be taken aback. Your children will certainly need some time to adjust to not being allowed in the bathroom when you’re in there LOL. The result, however, will be that, once the people around you see you becoming happier with each passing day, they will support your self-care. Stand behind your decision that it is important to you and it keeps you balanced and it is NOT optional!
Wishing You a Week of Phenomenal Self-Care!
Well, ladies, it’s that time of year! It is time to take stock of 2018 and prepare yourself to enter 2019 with a clear mind and a full heart. I am not so much interested in what you did right or wrong in 2018 but I am very interested in what you learned. Maybe it was a difficult year and you learned that you are stronger than you thought or maybe 2018 was marvelous and you learned that spending time with your friends makes you a better person. Or maybe, 2018 was completely uneventful and unmemorable and you learned that if you want a memorable year/life you need to be proactive and make great memories for yourself!
Personally, I learned that I am not my mistakes and that I am not the product of other people’s judgment or assessment of me. I also learned that (more than anything) freedom is what we all desire. Of course, I’m still working on applying all that acquired knowledge but my view of myself and the world is slowly changing. I also learned a very valuable lesson which is that happiness is not a static state. This constant search for happiness as a permanent place is just a recipe for (ironically) unhappiness. You can have a happy life and you can feel grateful for everything and everyone you have, but also have bad days, weeks or months. Suffering is inevitable (and, thankfully, it is temporary for most people) but how you respond to these moments is what will determine your overall contentment with life. The ability to let things roll off your back is a freedom like no other!
Freedom means different things to different people. Freedom can mean getting out of a relationship you feel trapped in or it can mean being in a relationship that allows you the freedom to be yourself. It can also mean not being in a relationship at all if you are the kind of person who feels happier on your own and untethered. Freedom to me is the feeling of being unencumbered by the judgement of others. As most people know, there is this strange stigma attached to elective, cosmetic treatments. That is the exact judgment from others that needs not concern you. Dream Spa Medical puts a lot of effort into, not only empowering women to do what they want, but informing them regarding skincare and all of our treatments. We don’t want you to make decisions blindly. We want you to be informed and to be able to understand our treatments so that you can choose what is best for YOU. Many of our treatments provide a level of freedom from daily upkeep that is absolutely thrilling for many of our clients! One less thing to do in the morning...I’ll take it!!! As for myself, the next frontier for me will be Laser Hair Removal and I cannot wait. Freedom from shaving everyday, freedom from buying those insanely expensive razors and freedom to go to the beach whenever I feel like it....freedom, freedom, freedom!
I would like for you to begin this new year with curiosity. Curiosity about yourself and the world around you is what will bring you joy. If each and every one of your experiences exists to teach you something about yourself, your family and your community etc., you will begin to welcome the full scope of feelings and circumstances that come your way. Each of these (good or bad) will serve a greater purpose which is to help you grow. You will be free from the fear that something “bad” will happen. We want you to open your hearts and minds and allow 2019 to be your best year yet!
Wishing You a Week of Excitement About The Coming Year!!